Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In America we eat man semen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
