K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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