i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
