I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
