i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize