I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
