what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
