We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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