u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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