apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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