drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
