i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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