I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
