This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
