When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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