Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
