I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
