pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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