she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
