I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
