In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
