does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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