Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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