How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
