Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
