I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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