I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
