she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
