Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
