i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Randomize