I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
