sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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