Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
