Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
