Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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