shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
