Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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