Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
