So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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