Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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