Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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