a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
