i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
