shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
