Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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