dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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