a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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