therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
