Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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