but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
