dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
