And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
