I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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