Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
