I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
