remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
