Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize