Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize