so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
