I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
