Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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