My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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