Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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