you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
