The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
