I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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