doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
